When college kids come home for the summer
How to enjoy the summer and avoid a clash with your college kids
June 11 - They go off to college as your sweet little baby, but when your college-age kids come home, all they want to do is sleep and stay out all night. What’s a parent to do? “Today” contributor and psychiatrist, Gail Saltz is with New York Presbyterian Hospital and she offers some tips for parents.
HOW TO DEAL WITH YOUR COLLEGE KIDS WHEN THEY COME HOME FOR THE SUMMER
Your summer can end in disaster if your expectations and your college kid’s expectations clash when they come home for the summer.
On the one hand, you are looking forward to seeing your child. You miss them. You expect them to be the same person they were when they left to go off to school. You expect them to step back into the role they had before they left for school in doing household chores, keeping a curfew, telling you almost everything, and following the rules of the family. You want to hear all about their studies, their friends, their ambitions and plans for school. You probably even hope to show them off to the extended family at get-togethers because you are proud of them.
On the other hand, your college kid just wants to come home and sleep, hang out with old friends and new friends, stay out all night and generally do whatever they’ve been doing at school.
They have spent the last year in an unstructured and unsupervised environment and probably really like it that way. This new world of theirs contains new people, new habits and a new style of dressing. You may or may not agree with this, and as a result they may not want to discuss it with you.
As you can see, this can all add up to disaster.
HERE ARE SOME TIPS ON HOW YOU CAN AVOID BLOW UPS WITH YOUR COLLEGE KID
1. Negotiate conflicts early: There are things you know will be sources of tension. They tend to be curfews, use of the car, phone and Internet too, money use, who can come over when, and household responsibilities... sit down with your game plan and discuss with them their wishes. Find a place where you can compromise and make these the ground rules for the summer.
2. Be flexible: If you force the same rules on them they had before they lived on their own at school, they will truly resent it and may not want to come home, which would be a loss for you. So try to be more flexible while maintaining certain limits...
For instance, let your kid sleep until 1 p.m. for the first few days but then pick a reasonable time (like 10 a.m.) after that so that the rest of the family can do what they need to. Don’t insist they be home by 11 p.m. when you know at school they were out until 4 a.m., but do say they must tell you when they will be home in advance and stick to it or call if they cannot so you don’t have to worry when they aren’t there. If they use the car they must agree to times you can spare it...
3. Encourage an adult-to-adult relationship: When you come off as an authoritative parent, you push your child away. He or she may be struggling to become an adult, and it’s difficult. Try listening...Invite them to discuss how they feel about various issues and then also tell them how you feel. The evolution to this kind of relationship will be very gratifying for both of you.
4. Accept them: While your child is in the new universe of college, they are most likely trying on different personas, which may be different from the way they were before. But you need to be somewhat accepting of their different clothing, hair, friends and independence. In fact, you need to accept them as adults. If you are going to have a good relationship with them, you need to appreciate them for who they are.
5. Show them you want them home: Let them know how happy you are to be with them... Allow them time with their old and new friends, but then ask them to save some time for you, so you can do something fun together.
Dr. Gail Saltz is a psychiatrist with New York Presbyterian Hospital and a regular contributor to “Today.”
© 2008 MSNBC Interactive. Reprints
Source: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3079389/ accessed June 14, 2009 9:16 a.m. EST
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
The sky is NOT falling, but property taxes might be...
Lower taxes: Silver lining of falling home prices
Home price declines are causing tax assessors to revalue properties downward. Taxes will follow.
Les Christie, CNNMoney.com staff writer
Last Updated: May 27, 2009: 2:25 PM ET
NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) -- Your home value has sunk like a stone, and you're so far underwater you'll have to hold your breath for years. Can you at least get a break on your property taxes?
In some cases, yes. Many municipalities' tax bills are due in May, and the tab for 2009 could be lower.
As a rule, city and county assessors reappraise property values annually or biannually, using recent sales of comparable homes in the neighborhood to set values. So in areas that have seen significant drops in home prices, appraisals - and thereby property taxes - could also drop.
"Assessors have been flooded with requests from homeowners to reassess their home values," said Los Angeles County Assessor Rick Auerbach...
... even if tax assessors reduce appraised values to reflect market conditions it still does not automatically mean a property tax cut. Localities could still raise their tax rates, the percentage of the home's value that is used along with the assessed valuation, to calculate the final bills.
"Taxes are based on property values times [the tax rate]. We could have declining values but make up for it by raising the rate," said Bill Donegan, the property appraiser for Orange County, Fla., which includes Orlando.
This year, though, the value drops are so steep that any rate rise will probably not offset the lowered assessments. Plus, governments usually can't just raise rates indiscriminately.
"In most places there's a statuary limit to rate increases," said Ken Wilkinson, the property appraiser for Lee County, Fla., where Cape Coral home values have plunged 44% from their peaks. "In Florida, they can't be raised more than 10%."
That should lead to substantial savings. In Orange County, the average taxpayer paid about 8% less last year, or nearly $130. "They may see a bigger drop this year," said Donegan.
The savings will be more modest, or non-existent, in states with lesser price declines. Many localities will raise rates enough to offset lower assessments, according to Joseph Henchman, the Director of State Projects for the Tax Foundation, a group that studies tax policy.
"The actual [revenue] collections could still rise or stay about the same," he said.
Governments may also raise fees on water, sewage and other services to keep up with looming budget deficits. They could even create entire new taxing entities, known as tax district, to fund fire departments, law enforcement, even libraries.
The local governments must keep revenues up to pay for programs they initiated during more flush times.
"We often see a ratchet effect," said Henchman. "Spending goes up when collections are strong but stay up even when collections go down."
First Published: May 27, 2009: 2:21 PM ET
source: http://money.cnn.com/2009/05/27/real_estate/property_tax_breaks/index.htm?postversion=2009052714 accessed June 2, 2009
Home price declines are causing tax assessors to revalue properties downward. Taxes will follow.
Les Christie, CNNMoney.com staff writer
Last Updated: May 27, 2009: 2:25 PM ET
NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) -- Your home value has sunk like a stone, and you're so far underwater you'll have to hold your breath for years. Can you at least get a break on your property taxes?
In some cases, yes. Many municipalities' tax bills are due in May, and the tab for 2009 could be lower.
As a rule, city and county assessors reappraise property values annually or biannually, using recent sales of comparable homes in the neighborhood to set values. So in areas that have seen significant drops in home prices, appraisals - and thereby property taxes - could also drop.
"Assessors have been flooded with requests from homeowners to reassess their home values," said Los Angeles County Assessor Rick Auerbach...
... even if tax assessors reduce appraised values to reflect market conditions it still does not automatically mean a property tax cut. Localities could still raise their tax rates, the percentage of the home's value that is used along with the assessed valuation, to calculate the final bills.
"Taxes are based on property values times [the tax rate]. We could have declining values but make up for it by raising the rate," said Bill Donegan, the property appraiser for Orange County, Fla., which includes Orlando.
This year, though, the value drops are so steep that any rate rise will probably not offset the lowered assessments. Plus, governments usually can't just raise rates indiscriminately.
"In most places there's a statuary limit to rate increases," said Ken Wilkinson, the property appraiser for Lee County, Fla., where Cape Coral home values have plunged 44% from their peaks. "In Florida, they can't be raised more than 10%."
That should lead to substantial savings. In Orange County, the average taxpayer paid about 8% less last year, or nearly $130. "They may see a bigger drop this year," said Donegan.
The savings will be more modest, or non-existent, in states with lesser price declines. Many localities will raise rates enough to offset lower assessments, according to Joseph Henchman, the Director of State Projects for the Tax Foundation, a group that studies tax policy.
"The actual [revenue] collections could still rise or stay about the same," he said.
Governments may also raise fees on water, sewage and other services to keep up with looming budget deficits. They could even create entire new taxing entities, known as tax district, to fund fire departments, law enforcement, even libraries.
The local governments must keep revenues up to pay for programs they initiated during more flush times.
"We often see a ratchet effect," said Henchman. "Spending goes up when collections are strong but stay up even when collections go down."
First Published: May 27, 2009: 2:21 PM ET
source: http://money.cnn.com/2009/05/27/real_estate/property_tax_breaks/index.htm?postversion=2009052714 accessed June 2, 2009
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